The one with a whip.

Something I'd written about 5 years ago. Found in an archive:
--------------------------------------------------------------------


"I KNOW he is the man who committed the crime. There has been particular inaction by the Delhi Police.. It seems that the rule of law doesn't seem to apply to the children of those who enforce it." - words out Additional Sessions Judge. J.P. Thareja while delivering the 450-page judgment in the 'Priyadarshini Matoo' rape and murder case. He further went on to say that he was 'forced' to acquit the accused, Santosh Kumar Singh, the son of a highly placed and prominent police officer, giving him the benefit of doubt. The alleged murderer was set free.

Let us rewind the cassette. Priyadarshini Mattoo, a 23 year old law student in Delhi University, is found raped and murdered at her house in New Delhi on January 23, 1996. The evidence points to Santosh Kumar Singh, the son of a highly placed Police Officer. However, in December 1999, the judge acquits him, pointing to serious inadequacies in the investigation. In 1995, Priyadarshini had complained that Santosh Singh was harassing and stalking her. She had been provided with a personal security officer at the time. On the morning of January 23, Santosh is seen knocking for entrance into Priyadarshini's uncle's house, where she is living, in the Vasant Kunj area of Delhi. The huge amount of evidence indicates that Santosh enters her house on the pretext of striking a compromise. Subsequently, he allegedly rapes her, strangles her with an electric wire and then batters her face beyond recognition with a motorcycle helmet. The evidence is immense and the verdict is obvious. But what happened.. is history!

Hey! My name's India. Sup?

I am a great nation - a land of rich culture, richer tradition, and the richest history! I am a land, which gave the world 'zero'! I am a superpower! You know what actually. I am a nuclear power -duh! I have the technology to destroy most countries at the click of a button. I have the best of missiles, best of tanks, one of the largest militaries, huge amount of guns and ammunition which can destruct and put to ashes an entire planet, which can put an entire population to freaking debris, which can shake up mankind with atomic thunder blasts. Cool, eh? Ironically though, sadly, I am also the land where a dumb Buddha practiced lame peace. I am the land where an old chic- Teresa -attained 'the' mother of all salvations it seems.. and hey - the funny bald guy. what'd his name be.. yeah, Gandhi, - Gandhi- was adamant and stubborn with his proclaimed Satyagraha bits and pieces! Phew! Anyway, chuck that dude! I welcome you! Welcome to me! Welcome to India!

All right, lets hit the bull's eye straight on! Lets know who I am! One hundred and fifty crore people and still counting! These people are raping me! I cannot tell you how orgasmic I feel when the census takes its toll across my body! But actually, it aint that big a deal, more on that - later! I am a bad girl with a whip you know what I mean. I feel sadistically fulfilled when more than 70 percent of my children do not even have 2 times of bread and many of them starve to death! But again, like before, not so big a deal and hence, more on that, later! I feel insanely turned on when a woman is raped brutally every half an hour on my breast and another is burnt to death every 75 minutes for not bringing a large enough dowry; where shockingly, more than 5.2 million people are infected with HIV and still don't know the difference between HIV and AIDS, where female foeticide is still so wildly popular and 'sati' is still practiced with utmost sincerity in Rajasthan and Andhra Pradesh! You've just begun to know me though. Buy me coffee before I start with what all turns me on. Lets save it for later!

If you got to buy me coffee though, you need to shift focus to a tad more important issues I have! Figuratively, far significant than the trivial issues I just highlighted up there (pretty embarrassed that I brought crap up). Rahul Mahajan does drugs!! Aint is huge? It's so big that it is breaking news! A recent report read, Rahul Mahajan spends 70,000 bucks everyday on cocaine. So, if you were to calculate, it would take him much more than a century of centuries to literally ejaculate his murdered father's amassed fortune of more than 4000 crore rupees! Holy cow! One big orgasmic fortune for a junkie! Did I hear someone say I was a poor bitch? Not really, I can pretty much pay for my coffee I guess!

I am a happy nation. Pretty happy!! Yay! So what if some Karishma Kapoor gets engaged to an Abhishek Bachchan, calls off the engagement, gets married to some Delhi hotshot, files divorce, hooks up with him again, has a kid - an eternal solution to a doomed marriage by the way. So what if a Dirubhai Ambani piles up a fortune, dies and his sons merrily crash the family to build individual empires! So what if some Jessica Lall is shot point blank amid 200 people and the accused walks free hooting a whistle! So what if a Satyendra Dubey gets murdered in broad daylight for throwing a torch on the epic corruption in government tenders! The fact of the matter is, I am a busty place! I am a great nation with rich heritage! I am one of the fastest growing economies, a bustling place for foreign trade and investment; I have the potential to support a huge infrastructure; I can proudly say that over the last 2-3 years, my investment rate has crossed 30 percent of the Gross Domestic Product, for the first time in history, with the per capita income rising to $700. So what if more than 70 percent of my children don't even get 2 times of bread and many of them starve to death. It is not that big a deal, is it? I am what I am! It turns me on rather, remember?

And hence, the people ruling me can be at ease because, who cares, huh! Let the children be! Ofcourse, they have much more at hand to do when they aren't doing me - you know what I mean? Be it an offer of a liberal aid package of Rs.1000 crore to the government of Nepal or just a mere Rs.100 crore for the beautification of Marine Drive in Mumbai and another 50 crore for the erection of a monument of Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj or another..sigh! C'mon, these things are much more important! How can you just sit there and watch my dear neighbour Nepal be in such turbulence when people, here, are touching the skies! How can you disrespect a national hero by not spending hundreds of millions in his memory? And oh hey, my government has a heart too which goes out to its people, but fortunately, it goes out only once in 3 to 4 years so that it can concentrate on larger causes, the remaining time. So, come 2007 elections in Uttar Pradesh in North India. Mulayam Singh Yadav suddenly realizes that he owes something back to his people. So, in an act of unrivalled generosity, Samajwadi Party decides to take out 400 crore rupees from its closet and distribute Rs.500 to every un-employed person in the state. They swear on their mum that if the ruling party comes into power again in the subsequent election, the sum of the money shelled out would go up by another cool 500 bucks! See! Kindness and humility just got better! I am so proud of my child that instead of addressing the duh cause of providing employment, he made things so drastically simple for the un-employed and lost youth by giving them a direct income. So, 400 crore divided by 500 = Number of youth, unemployed! And hey, mass unemployment is sexy to me anyway! Anyway, I am proud of my other children as well! Lets say - Arjun Singh - for implementing such a drivable cause of reservations and uplifting the poor with such aplomb and dignity, and it was not because he was trying his one last shot at the prime minister's seat! His message's clear - "Dear Dalits, you were screwed in the past .So here's your chance to screw them all!" You guys get it all wrong, don't you? The Shiv Sainiks, my proud soldiers of morality have an insight and belief that if a woman gets raped, it is clearly because she wears urban clothing which demands a rape. It's obvious and I strongly agree that a woman should wear appropriate clothing to help our civilized and culturally rich men control their urge and hunger; leading our lives in a nice talibanized society! So, give a break to my boy Sunil More, for he was, after all, just a drunk policeman doing his routine chores at Marine Drive and it were just situations that led the poor chap to rape a school kid in the police chowky in broad day light! Big deal dude!

A perfect plot to Ekta Kapoor, a loser, one may say! By the way, she rocks and I love watching her soap operas! They are so me! Yay!

So, to sum up, I'd conclude that I am a proud mother, a real proud one! I love the chaos, I love the crime, I love the unemployment, which increases with time! I love the poverty, I love the corruption, I love the hatred, which exists in the ever-increasing population! I am a bad bitch and I am full of myself! I am a freaking mad-house which is hitting globalization at the speed of a shooting star. If you are in control, then you ain't going fast enough! So, fasten your seat belts, sit back, spread my legs and ride me bad like the see-saw of the sensex when it hits the high and kisses the low. Twelve thousand or Nine thousand, the show goes on because the show's bloody ought to go on!!

My name's India and I am the one with a whip!